New Life Paths Begin With You

Do you have an old or new dream that keeps bouncing around in your mind?  An unfulfilled passion? Are you feeling stuck and desperately wanting some change in your life?

When desire swells to the extent, that it can’t be extinguished, it’s time to listen!    The bells of change are trying to get your attention.

You hold the keys of change in your life; new life paths begin with you!   Hard reality!

No magical transformation awaits us in the “new year”!  Life continues as before, like a train following its track when the numerical calendar turns to 2025.  You are the one holding the keys of change in your life.

Your life path is not set in stone.  I know that the fabric of life can tear at any moment and throw us out into the cold.  There is no guarantee despite our best made plans.   Our lives can slowly change too, over the years, like a river coursing through new channels.

Wishful thinking that time will intervene and rescue us from making any changes in our lives is easy to do.   I have found myself falling back passively, too.  A little kick in the pants is sometimes needed.

Just because I am a therapist does not make changing any easier for me than you.   You are probably more gifted than I am in organizing and initiating changes in your life.

I am a lifelong procrastinator, finding it difficult to make timely, needed decisions.  I could be writing this post as much for me as for others. True, sometimes we find ourselves trapped in indecision, awaiting some inner green light to turn on.   We must discern if it is fear that is holding us back, or divine providence calling to delay action.

Most people don’t develop any real urges to change their lives unless they feel a sense of stagnation, unhappiness, or a lack in their lives.  Placating yourself with resolve to accept your lot in life as a lifelong sentence is a denial of your full potential and being blind to your talents and gifts.

Some people know where their passion lies at an early age.  The majority don’t.  We can get sidetracked by failed marriages, premature career choices, parental influence, and various other reasons that hold us back from following our true paths.

Toxic relationships and jobs can slowly devour you emotionally, sap your energy and leave you trying to stay afloat in the quake of psychic turbulence fraught with insecurity and dependency.  

Breaking away may be the hardest bridge to cross in your life.  It might take years for you to come to the realization that you are withering away and staying will be life-depriving in many aspects.

The movers and shakers in the world seem to go with switching gears effortlessly.    Don’t compare yourself with influencers who may not be genuine and are only as real as their fabricated and false digital image.

If you suffer from low energy, depression, grief, high anxiety, over-precaution, dependency and fears, making changes is like wading through tar.  I know, I have been there.

A lot of times, these symptoms become one long continuum.    Clinical depression and anxiety is treatable most of the time.  Grief has to be accepted and taken along for the ride.  Same with fears and doubts.

  Dependency patterns take monumental psychological shifts to loosen the grip and tremendous effort and courage to let go of dead-end relationships or jobs.   Sometimes you may need help.

Setting out on a new path means bravely putting one foot out and then the other, trudging along as best you can with persistence.  Don’t try to overanalyze every needed move, nor set unrealistic time goals   The important thing is to Start!

Fears are normal and are to be expected.  Waiting till you won’t have any fears is pointless.   Developing a projection of risks versus benefits on a sheet is great if you are linear-oriented and organized enough to accomplish the task.

Whenever I evaluate a new patient, I develop a realistic treatment plan.  It is easier to do for someone else rather than myself.   I often find talents and gifts they are not aware of possessing. Untapped potential!

Optimism is a choice.  It is something fundamental I choose to have. Pessimism is a vicious circle that feeds only negativeness and harbours darkness.  Guard against it creeping it! 

So what if you lack self-confidence?   Self-confidence is created by You accomplishing something you feared doing!

I can do baby steps and you can too.   So what if we wobble, make mistakes, and struggle?      Have realistic expectations for yourself.  No one becomes an expert pilot overnight, any more than a young fledging taking his first flights out of the nest!

If you want to embark upon a new path, There has to be some inner play acting, rather than just desire. Daydreaming is a precursor to action. Creative visualizations can stir the universal pot of possibilities in hopes of attracting and crystallizing reciprocal action in the physical world.

“Seeing” yourself there and going through with thoughtful projections as if writing a script for you is a great way to create your blueprint.     Have you ever seen little children play act before?    Their pretend play creates neural pathways towards possibilities by going through the motions.

Quantum physics says that consciousness can interfere with the trajectory and deviation of an electron: think of what that might mean in using your own intense focus and visualization to help create new paths! 

Implementing action is hard for me and perhaps for you too.  Sometimes you have to be like the fool in the tarot and take an optimistic leap off the cliff. 

I often think I did this back in December 1999, when I pulled up stakes and moved to Paris.  Thank God I did.  I knew for a long time I wanted some newness in my life and wanted to return here to live.  When the time came to follow my dream, I leapt with trust into newness.

That was a monumental change, in my life.   I feel proud that I courageously took the leap.   When the pump of desire is primed, the mounting pressure and urgency to take action can no longer be ignored.

However, I wrestle with making much smaller decisions out of fear of making the wrong one.  I need to remind myself that even if a wrong decision is made, it will at least provide learning at what not to do the next time.  Perhaps there aren’t any really bad decisions, except never making one?

Overcoming all anxiety and fears is a waste of time.  Better to recognize the normality of them and embark anyway.  I like to tell patients to “take them along for the ride” in our psychic back sac.

Buddhists like to say that listening to our multitude of fears, doubts and what-ifs is like listening to “monkey mind talk”.    Acknowledge it might be there, don’t fight it and let it be.

Testing the waters is a safe way toward change.  Knocking on the door will result in it opening or not.   When it doesn’t, the timing might not be right for you.   When the door remains shut despite multiple tries, I see it as a sign of not being the right path or right time in the first place.  

If you are faith-filled and believe in God or a higher power, you can certainly pray and place yourself in God’s hand trusting that He will open the doors needed to nourish your path and keep the ones not worth opening, shut. 

Helping God along with some action on your part requires trust.  Don’t be content to be just a cork floating down the river.

Be kind to yourself when embarking on a new path.  Like a toddler learning to take those first few steps, you may falter and fall.  After a small retreat, these little ones, keep getting up for another try and so can you!

Even if you are fortunate to have an encouraging therapist or best friend, you eventually have to become your own cheerleader to nourish your flight towards a new path.

Own and praise your baby steps, however small.  It all adds up.  Persistence is the key!  Remember that hard things are hard to do!

To all that are reading this, I send you Love, Health, Peace and Courage.

P.S.    I dedicate this post to the many beautiful souls I have met in my professional journey and personal life who have taught me much about courage, risk-taking, and persistence.