Year 2020 has been a source of severe stress, uncertainty, sadness, and grief for those we lost. Yet, 
being grateful for what you Do have is a very powerful source of peace and wellbeing?
It is so powerful that not only can it can boost your mood up a few notches, but even help bring your hopes and desires into your life.
Unfortunately, you may only think about being grateful at the Thanksgiving table, but for me, it is an everyday practice.
Why? Because it makes me feel good to give thanks for the blessings in my life!
It literally does something to me, pure and simple. It helps reframe my thoughts. I feel more connected, and grounded in joy, and much less drug down by other petty worries that come my way.
It is a way to feel anchored. Anchored in positive energy that feels expansive. When you offer your own words of thanksgiving, you are sharing your appreciation with the Divine Source of all.
A communion with God that is a prayerful expression of love. When we share our gratitude, we are actually offering love and a focused remembrance for the gifts we have received in our lives.
Even if your life is not where you want it to be, nor where you were hoping it would be, gratitude has the very power to break through the chains that may have been holding you back.
I am not talking about mind games here, but a real source of powerful energy that can be a propellant and work to bring you even more blessings.
I think of it as a powerful transfusion that is available to all of us free of charge, anywhere we might be. Right now, be grateful for what you do have in your life.
That is at least a start! You have things in your life right now that are good and enjoyable, however simple they may be, and even in the midst of hardships.
If you are reading this, you have eyes! Think of your world, if you were deprived of sight!
I am often reminded of the tremendous gift of sight, seeing the blind struggle to find their way on a busy Parisian street and navigate the metro.
How would our lives be without hearing, and the ability to forms words into speech? The blandness our lives would be without being able to taste and smell foods and flowers.
Being able to touch and feel with our fingertips and embrace those we love is done without conscious thought; as for most of us, it is natural.
Every time I walk, I am often reminded of the complexity of the marvelous body we carry around planet earth to survive.
We are at any time an extraordinary miracle of millions of simultaneous acts of physiology that have to be perfectly coordinated, or else.
Walking around the streets of Paris or in nature, I am aware that many have walked the very same paths before me, and that my time too is limited.
I find it is a perfect time for me to pray and offer words of gratitude, either very softly sung or whispered.
My mantra goes like this: Thank you God for my legs that carry me, my eyes that see all the beauty that surrounds me.
My ears that hear the birds sing and the voices of those I love. My nose to be able to smell perfumed flowers and the lovely foods and wines.
My ability to taste and enjoy all the wonderful foods I eat. My hands that have held my children and grandchildren and touched those in need.
My voice that can talk, and last but least, my heart that beats and sustains my life, and that I can love.
Ok, those are indeed the basics, but without any of them, I would find life a monumental struggle! They are each and in their own way marvelous gifts that we easily all take for granted, because we have had them all our lives.
I think of cardiac and stroke victims, or any handicapped person, who is struggling to live an “ordinary” life.
Most activities of everyday living that we take for granted, becomes arduous tasks for them. Anyone of us , could be deprived of these simple pleasures in a second.
Life is fragile and without our health, our lives change instantly into another dimension of fear, worry and painful treatments, needed to restore us to a previous state of well-being.
Ask any cancer, accident or chronic illness victim about living with the constant fears and burdens of suffering from an illness and handicap, that has overtaken their lives.
A simple example, that we can all relate to, is when we can’t breathe through our nose at night because of a cold, and how wonderful it feels to be able to breath freely again.
What about when your back hurts and you can’t move about without crippling pain and it finally heals!
When I had pneumonia several years ago, which caused me to faint and fracture my jaw, I lost my voice for over 6 weeks from all the strain coughing had on my larynx.
As a therapist, who depends on being able to talk to patients, I became disabled. For 6 weeks, all I could do was whisper.
I was really frightened that my voice would never return to normal. When it did, I was overwhelmed with relief and gratitude!
All it takes is to be deprived of something you take for granted, and to remember how grateful you were when it was restored.
Being grateful for what you do have is acceptance! Acceptance is the ability to celebrate your life as is, even though it may not be in total fulfillment of your desires.
Hellen Keller, who lost her sight and hearing at a very early age wrote elegantly of her life, composing 12 books. Interlaced throughout them all is her gratitude, even for her disabilities.
She wrote: “I thank God for my handicaps. For through them, I have found my myself, my work and my God.”
I have often heard alcoholics in recovery say that they are “grateful alcoholics”. Why? Because through their disease process, they were drawn into the spiritual path of the 12 Step Program and of course into recovery.
I enjoy waking up and saying, however sleepy I still may be: Thank you God for this day. I give myself to the power of your Love and Glory. For me, it is a smoothing and comforting way to start my day.
Gratitude is like a powerful magnet. Being grateful for what you do not have , as of yet, is a powerful way to “seed” the universe with your desires. Your gratitude becomes a vehicle of attraction.
Simply, it means thanking God for your desires, that have not yet materialized in your life in the present moment!
When you practice everyday gratefulness, you are actually enhancing your ability to attract even more things to be grateful for in life. Think of it as having a snowball effect.
Frankly, if you can’t show gratitude for what you do have right now, why would the universe send you more?
I am reminded of the time that I gave a donation to a street person, who did not appreciate my gift because it wasn’t good enough.
Ungratefulness sends a powerful message that you are not willing to receive unless it matches up to your specification.
If you are never appreciative for what good you do have, then you are sending unconsciously out seeds of discontent, that unfortunately can bring more “neediness” and a constant state of unfulfilled “want”.
The power of gratitude is like a seedling planted in fertile soil. The more you openly demonstrate gratitude, the more your seedling will sprout gratitude.
Gratitude begets even more things to be grateful about. So, don’t wait till Thanksgiving, to offer your thanks. Be grateful for this very moment by celebrating with praise all the blessings you have in your life today.
P.S. This is an updated post, that I first wrote and published in 2013 and last year. Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Americans!
Discover more from A Psychotherapist in Paris
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
thank you so much for such a beautiful and important article..this i think should be something everyone should read..love you cherry
Thank you Becky for your sweet comment. Actually, I can’t say enough about gratitude, because it is so fundamentally beautiful to offer appreciation. I am grateful that it touched you. Hugs for a Happy Thanksgiving!
Amen Cherry … What a wonderful reminder you have shared with us all.
Thank you my dear friend for continuing to speak from your heart to my
heart. Thanksgiving love to you…
Thank you Anne for your very kind comment! We all have much to be grateful for, and especially for a wonderful friend like you! Hugs to you and Cookie for Thanksgiving.
I think that your blog about “gratitude” is esp. applicable to people of our generation who are now in the “third-third’ of their lives. The gift of life is so precious, why would anyone want to “waste it” by being overly concerned or distracted by the negative aspects of life. Pain and suffering through sicknesses should really make us appreciate the better aspects of our lives. People who become “lost” by allowing themselves to be overwhelmed by the “challenges” in life are ignoring and wasting the good that they have to enjoy life to the best of their abilities.
My 45 y/o nephew who progressively became a quadriplegic twenty years ago has managed to keep up his spirits and tries to enjoy every day of his life to the best that he can (which is limited; but he can still get around in his electric wheel chair). His father became overwhelmed by a progressive plunge into depression little over two years ago; ending with his, in essence, giving up his business, and everything other than sleeping and watching TV. That is quite a contrast between a vibrant young person becoming a wheel chair bound quad to an adult with full physical capabilities becoming lost in depression for no discernible reason. Our lives are basically, to a great extent, what we chose to make of them.
In 1982, as a pedestrian, I was crushed between two cars . . . one parked vehicle and an out of control car that slid sideways into the parked car. (I was a pedestrian walking across the street and a car was parked across the walkway; and it happened so fast I couldn’t get out of the way. I was extremely fortunate though. As I lay on the street, the driver of the vehicle burned rubber three times trying to back up; and they would have literally have run over me laying in the street behind them; but fortune or Kama blessed me by the cars front bumper having caught onto another parked vehicle. As I regained consciousness, and was paralyzed from the waist down (from the trama), I thought that my pelvic area was probably crushed somewhat.
The end of it all was that I was tremendously fortunate to NOT have a single broken bone (thanks to the modern day light weight metals used in cars . . . the impression of my butt was left in the fenders of both vehicles). I was elated to learn that nothing had been broken, and spent several weeks in a hospital where they did absolutely nothing, except to warehouse me. Yeah, I suffered from some soft tissue injury that results in a dull ache in my back if I carry heavy packages for too long (mall Christmas shopping) or walking around concrete construction sites for too many hours; I occasionally use a walking cane; but those are rare occasions. The bottom line is that I have always just been tremendously grateful that I was NOT crippled or paralyzed thirty years ago; and the occasional dull pain in my back (not often) just reminds me how fortunate I really was.
“Is the glass half empty or half full?” That is something that everyone has to decide for themselves. Almost everyone is bound to experience some less than desirable things in their life; it is a matter of how we respond to it and handle it that makes the difference. I just don’t have much empathy for people who let the day to day challenges overwhelm them; that seems to demonstrate an unrealistic perspective and expectation in life. Now our challenge appears to accepting the challenges of becoming older and all that might go with that, and still enjoy our lives as much as possible.
In south Florida we have so many panhandlers at quite a few of the intersections, that I have gottento where I usually don’t often give anything to them . . . too many of them are “scammers” who do that rather than work. I remember one occasion in downtown Miami where an immigrant family (undoubtedly illegal aliens) were lined up on the sidewalk in front of a Burger King with a sign about having hungry children. I impulsively stopped and took them inside and bought them food (rather than give them money) . . . and they were appreciative. With all of the con men/scammers soliciting at intersections, it becomes difficult to know which people are truly deserving of charity. There is a sense of satisfaction from knowing that one has helped someone ese, even if it is only a small token of charity. My EX was a data entry clerk for a while with one of the oldest and best known charities; unfortunately, 90% of the contributions purportedly were spent on salaries, perks, and first class travel for the “Charity’s upper management and personnel”.
We all should have gratitude for what we have in life, regardless of how little it may seem to us at times. “Gratitude” is basically just an awareness of our appreciation of the good aspects of our lives and the enjoyment of our interactions and relationships or experiences with others. Sadly, I’ve known a fair number of “wealthy people” who lead pathetically unhappy lives because they can’t enjoy and appreciate what they have in the way of personal relationships or wealth . . . what a waste. Life is what we make it to be to the best that we can.
If my quad nephew can keep a good outlook and perspective on life for twenty years in a wheel chair, then what plausible excuse can other people, fully able bodied people, have to be unhappy with their
Thank you David for your own incredible testimony of miraculous escaping a horrible accident without any physical disabilities. Your nephew is a model of admirable gratitude for what he can do, rather than what he can’t. People who have to live day by day with such monumental physical limits demonstrate a courage that few of us possess. He and others mirror what the human spirt can overcome and are certainly our teachers.
Not all handicaps are physical, and can be hard to understand the negative impact they have on functioning normally, unless you have witnessed their suffering and limitations such as autism.
Mental disorders are not readily visible, but can cause tremendous disabilities that likewise make everyday life difficult to navigate, such as schizophrenia. Bipolar disorder and chronic depression impair many from living fully normal lives too.
I likewise am amazed how some folks literally surmount impossible hardships of youth, abusive families, and poverty and go on to make something good in their lives. They too teach us many lessons of survival and working with what we do have, rather than drowning in self pity forever. Their lessons of gratitude are hard learned and well deserved of our praise.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and family!
Cherry, you mentioned a lot of the psychological problems that beset many people . . . my brother-in-law having become one of those persons , who, for whatever reasons, has fallen victim to some type of depression that has totally debilitated his life. Of course, he doesn’t see it for what it is; he just “thinks” that he can’t get enough sleep, in spite of the fact that he apparently spends twelve or more hours a day in his bed.
In my previous comment I certainly didn’t mean to dismiss or to marginalize the problems that so many people are confronted with, esp. as we all become older. Eight or ten years ago, I had an experience with a facial pain that progressively increased during a four to six month period to the point where it was difficult to “just make it through the day. Fortunately I was working out of my home office; and managed “to get by enough” to get a little accomplished. However, after experiencing the trigeminal pain severely for several months, I can understand how some people can decide to “opt out” if there is no chance of recovery . . . unrelenting pain, both physical and psychological, can just overwhelm one’s life and ability to perceive and deal with things.
During the course of all of that I had several MRSs, CAT scans, saw neurologists, ETNS, the dentists three times, etc. The best “solution” that the doctors came up with was for me to go to a “pain management specialists” in West Palm Beach (which I didn’t do). Finally some swelling set in the back upper and lower gums on my right side. In the three previous visits to the dentist, he had proclaimed that there was “absolutely no connection between the facial pain and my teeth. When the swelling became so bad that I really couldn’t eat, I insisted that the dentist remove the upper and lower back teeth. Amazingly, the facial pain “disappeared and did not return. Dentists had had often noted that I had a “perfect bite” ; but with age and natural bone loss (which my father had and is obviously genetic), teeth tend to shift somewhat; and quite apparently my problem had been that shifting teeth were putting progressive pressure on the Trigeminal nerve. It was enough of a prolonged experience to provide me with a first hand experience of what some people have to endure endlessly.
All of this just emphasizes that with these things that occur throughout life and esp. in this third-third, one just never knows what is potentially in store for them, esp. in this third-third, and when the statistics confirm that we all have a limited remaining period of “quality of life”. If nothing else, 90% of people over the age of 90 y/o have varying forms of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. The reality is that everyone’s health or mental condition decreases a little every day at this time in life. So, how foolish is it for people to not try to live life to the fullest. Statistically, we all have perhaps another 10 to 15 years of quality of life, at the best. A few lucky individuals may have 20 years of quality of life; but it certainly will be a significant amount than we are experiencing now.
If nothing else, NOW is the time for people to be BOLD ENOUGH to make the efforts to live life to the fullest . . . but it is probably like trying to tell teenagers about life . . . Ha!
One thing that my wife and I have learned in life is that everyone has to take responsibility for their own lives and health. The insurance companies proscribe that Doctors only have 12 min. to 15 min. to spend with each patient. Everything else is done using lab tests, MRIs, CAT Scans, etc. You should know your symptoms a lot better than your doctor does; and if a doctor isn’t successful after a while, then find another doctor(s). One’s health is too precious to just blindly leave it to others on the medical treadmill.
The older we become the more that we see in other people’s experiences. That should be motivation and incentive enough for us to take charge of our lives and our health . . . there are no “replays” after the third-third of life. Now is the time to maximize one’s enjoyment and experiences in life. At least my sister was able to make several trips to Europe and Italy before she passed away a couple of years ago.
And one doesn’t have to do expensive things or go on expensive trips to enjoy life. It is really in just making an effort to enjoy the people whom you meet (if one bothers to get out and about). If one doesn’t MAKE THE EFFORTS to enjoy life and others, then it all slowly begins to fade away . . . and the next ten to fifteen years are really not that long.
Those who already suffer from physical and emotional afflictions should be a motivation to all of us to enjoy our quality of life while we still can.
David, really appreciate your very honest and insightful comment regarding health care, and living life to the fullest Now! In so far as health care, it is absolutely important that the patient becomes the “quarterback” so to speak. The patient must be given enough time to be heard. There is an old saying in medicine that I find true; If you give enough time to your patient, they will indeed lead you to their diagnosis!
In my field, it is imperative (for me) to set aside at least 1 and 1/2 hours for a patient session, otherwise you are trying to squeeze them into emoting or dealing with their worries, concerns and suffering into a 50 minute slot, which may be lucrative for the clinician, but in my view is unethical and fee padding.
The session belongs to the patient and is paid by the patient, therefore they deserve the time needed to be heard without rushing!
Taking risks NOW and living to the fullest NOW is a mantra for all of us in the “third” part of our lives. No more excuses needed! Life is very uncertain at all ages, but Now more than ever is the TIME! Thank you!
Cherry–You have outdone yourself in this post. Your words and their sentiment are your gift to all of us who have the opportunity to read them. I am grateful for so many things, and one of those is to have grown up with you and having continued access to your wisdom and encouragement. Thank you for your insights and your talent in sharing them.
Yours words Holly are very touching and I humbly thank you. I also especially appreciate your comment, being you are a professor of English, a language that I have never felt very gifted in expressing. I am glad you see my feelings and emotions beyond my grammatical/typo mishaps!
Living in a foreign country after all these years, does have some erosion of the complete command of words, that I might have had. Therefore, writing in english is good for me.
I admire all of your accomplishments and I know that you were a monumental instrument of multi-tasking in organising the reunion. Hope I can show you around Paris soon! Hugs!
Wow! Cherry, I really loved and needed this blog.
Traditionally I do a reading before our Thanksgiving meal; and this year I used excerpts from your amazing blog. Thanks for helping me out.
I have always been thankful for our friendship; and truly love how you are now educating me on a very high level. Keep ’em coming my friend.
My best to you and all of your family.
Hugs, KK
Thank you KK for the honour to have included passages from my post for your Thanksgiving dinner! I can say that I had the pleasure to join you and your family with my words.
As I was walking at dusk again in the park, I went through my gratitude mantra, as I usually do for the immense pleasure it always brings me. I am sure your view overlooking the beach and ocean would inspire us all with the awe and beauty of nature. Hope you take advantage of long walks listening to the waves!
Hugs to you.
Cherry
Cherry you are so right about that wonderful feeling. But. Also it works in reverse.
When I go the extra mile for a customer and they try to tip me , knowing that I could lose my job for violating of co. Policy if I accept but I politely refused. But a awesome since of accomplishment comes over me knowing that I have helped this customer have a good shopping experience .and that feeling is worth it’s weight in gold. Happy 😃Thanksgiving !
Hugs to you
Isham, you are worth your weight in gold for the dedication you give to your clients to find what they need and your vast knowledge to offer them! You have always gone the extra mile! Happy Thanksgiving and hugs.
Wonderful advice. I can never hear it enough.
Thank you Jen for your kind comment. I feel the same way about expressing gratitude, especially when I might feel down and need to remind myself that despite my grief, there are many blessings to give thanks for. Happy Thanksgiving and Hugs
Wow Cherry!time sure does fly. It seems as tho I read this original post Just the other day instead of 2013 and again in2018.
You are so very right about the power of simple gratitude.
And its so very easy to master this Positive attitude .
What a wonderful world this would be if everybody felt this way .
Hugs to you and Happy 😃Thanksgiving to you and Aimèe .
Thank you Isham for your fidelity in reading my blog and your kind comments dear friend! Hugs
Thanks for this post
Thank you Benoist for your comment! Glad you enjoyed my post! Hugs
Hi, Cherry. May I use can excerpt from your article from 2014 Frozen Tears for a story about my mother. She has just past. She came to me in bright light and hail (frozen tears) just after she passed in Texas. I’m in California! It was so unusual, that I googled frozen tears and came across your article that fully explained her behavior that had always been a mystery to me, but she wanted me to know why. She knew I would get it. Thanks so much. This had changed my life and explained a lot of things! Sincerely, Char
I am so very sorry Char that you have suffered such a painful loss. I hope you were able to be with her during some of her last earthly days, but from what you wrote it sounds that you were sadly deprived of that.
You may quote an excerpt from my Frozen Tears post, with acknowledgment to me and my blog. I hope that you find comfort and healing knowing that your mother reached out to you in such a special way.