What defines compulsive buying and what is underneath the urge to compulsively buy buy buy? Actually, there is a lot of psychological push and pull going on, in addition to a hormonal reward system at play. Let’s take a look.
The clearest definition is that compulsive shopping disorder is an ongoing preoccupation of shopping with irresistible urges to buying that leads to distress and impairment in your life.
The DSM V, the diagnostic bible of psychiatrists and therapists, has tipped toed around naming compulsive buying disorder as full-fledged disorder but has mentioned it in previous editions as being an example of an impulse control disorder NOS or not otherwise specified, with strong traits of obsessive compulsive and addictive behaviours.
People who have it, can meet some diagnostic criteria of a personality disorder as it is a pervasive way of maladaptive behaviour that causes distress and problems in functioning, not only to the afflicted but those around them!
It was first noted by Eugen Bleuler and Emil Kraepelin back in the 1890’s as uncontrolled spending that they called Oniomania, from the Greek word onios meaning “for sale.”
The disorder is gender-specific with up to 80% afflicted are women. It is more common in developed countries and seen more in middle income than lower or higher income groups.
Age of onset is usually seen as a pattern of over buying in the late teens to early adulthood.
Not surprisingly, Amazon, E Bay, and any online shopping, along with credit card availability make it very easy to overspend. Advertising primes potential buyers by creating desires for an object, which can be powerful triggers for these people.
Frequenting flea markets and yard sales for them is like an alcoholic dropping in a bar, they will buy!
I want to differentiate compulsive shopping disorder from the periodic over shopping that can happen to people who are in a Bipolar mania.
Mania driven shopping is due to the massive flooding of neurotransmitters that causes cognitive, behavioural and perceptive impairment. Once the mania is under control, over buying disappears, which is not the case in compulsive buying disorder!
It is also different from adults who grew up in financially impoverished households and have a tendency to surround themselves with a lot of material goods.
Compulsive buying has four stages; Anticipation, Preparation, Shopping and Spending. The buyer becomes totally preoccupied with this process.
There can be a fair amount of secretness and lying going on in order to hide the spending from spouses, other family members and even friends who they know might question their overspending behaviour.
There is a good amount of comorbidity(other disorders) seen in these people. Substance abuse, depression, hoarding, anxiety, eating disorders and personality disorders are the most prevalently associated.
Unchecked compulsive buying is noted to lead to 61% of them hoarding, although hoarding disorder alone can occur without compulsive buying.
Psychological factors often seen are low self-esteem, poor impulse control, harbouring negative emotions, anxiety, unexpressed anger, unmet emotional needs and feelings of emptiness.
Human beings are constantly trying to alleviate what hurts and causes distress. That is not pathological at all, but if the ways that you go about trying to relieve uncomfortable or painful feelings is harmful to you and others, then it is definitely pathological.
The disastrous consequences of compulsive buying as you might imagine are severe financial stress, high credit card debt, overdrawn bank accounts, bank charge penalties, poor credit rating, lying and relationship problems.
As the disorder worsens it can involve loss of credit, bankruptcy, criminal behaviour and loss of relationships. Criminality may result when the compulsive buyers are unable to meet the accrued debts and out of desperation turn towards stealing from their workplace, spouses, other family members or other white-collar crime.
Spouses generally feel much betrayal and loss of trust. There is tremendous anger over excess money spent, the lying and cover-up. The compulsive buyer, if married, often does buy in secret and will try to hide objects bought.
Let’s look at the underlying psychodynamics of compulsive buying. What is it that makes someone unable to control their buying?
Yes , it is related to an addiction, and yes, it is an obsessive behavioural pattern for sure, but there is more to be seen here! What pushes someone to buy uncontrollably objects that they do not need?
It is in the process of buying that holds the keys to understanding, not obtaining the objects! You see, objects that are bought are often not even used, left to the side and even forgotten because they are never really needed!
Buying for these individual provides an emotional gain and reward. Majority of compulsive buyers are filling up an emptiness within themselves emotionally, that they feel unable to obtain in other ways.
It can also be a way to momentary distract( a defence) from these unmet needs or uncomfortable feelings that they possess about themselves or others.
Compulsive buying can often be used as a nonverbal expression of anger towards a spouse. It can be even a way for revenge against spouses for not being attentive to their emotional needs.
These unmet needs are rooted in their childhood. They are: not feeling loved, nor appreciated, not being listened to and falling into the category of emotional neglect.
We carry those into adulthood my friends and they are the pitchforks in our backs or driving force that drives us into sometimes very unhealthy relationships, and unhealthy ways of feeling and behaving!
If these unmet needs are not recognised within ourselves and our tendencies never questioned and checked, we will repeat them throughout our lives!
There are reward factors at play too. There is initially an adrenalin rush and tension during the process of preparation, shopping and buying and then a dopamine( a neurotransmitter that feels good) release that can create reward dependence.
These are seen likewise in addictions of any nature; alcohol, drugs, gambling, porn, internet, phone and trading addictions.
Afterwards, there can be for some a downwards spiralling into remorse, depression, fears and more anxiety. This becomes a vicious cycle that recreates the very needs to repeat the obsessive behaviour.
Treatment as in any obsessive-compulsive and addictive behaviour is never quick, clean and dry so to speak. SSRI’s antidepressants can be used to help with compulsive symptoms and even opiate receptors blockers, such as Naltrexone to dull hormonal reward.
Depending on drugs alone, without any psychotherapy is a waste of time in my opinion.
The underlying emotional factors involved in all of compulsive buyers needs to be addressed and the patient encouraged to obtain meeting unmet needs in an appropriate way rather than buying.
They must also learn to deal with triggers and develop strategies for coping with urges to buy.
Because of the severe addictive nature of compulsive buying, a self-help 12 step group would be very helpful. I have noted some listed as Shopaholics Anonymous, Spenders Anonymous and Debtors Anonymous.
Obviously marital counselling too would be helpful if the marriage has not been already shredded beyond saving. It is not unusual for a spouse to discover enormous depts, large sums of money that have disappeared from joint accounts, maxed out credit cards and stacks of unpaid card balances and even tax notices.
Besides tremendous anger, there is an overwhelming sense of shock and betrayal. It is after this that the compulsive shopper is confronted full-faced with the disastrous consequences of their behaviour that they may have denied the severity of in the past.
This is when the best chance of treatment can occur, but of course, the person must recognise they have a problem and be willing to do something about their out of control shopping and spending.
Sadly, that is not always the case.
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I’ve known a feel compulsive shoppers during my lifetime. One, a friend of my wife, was a high school teacher. According to my wife, Nancy had well over 75 pairs of Jordace jeans, many that still had the manufacturers’ labels on them; and never worn. Her husband was an alcoholic; and she had two adopted daughters who seemed to be ingrates. Nancy used to rush to the mailbox to get the mail, so her husband wouldn’t see the credit card bills.
Fortunately, my wife being French Canadian, she tends to be a little overly frugal. Like her father, if thee is anything that she doesn’t use for six months, she gives it to Goodwill or some charity. And fortunately, I can’t recall ANY argument that we have had in 35 years about either of us in regard to spending money. We lead a modest but comfortable lifestyle. We just don’t desire a lot of status or trendy/gimmicky things; but we buy anything that we desire. LOL . . . I do have a lot of shop tools; but I inherited a lot of that.
For shopaholics it must be terrible, like having an itch one can’t scratch or an appetite that one cannot fully satisfy . . . and then there is the financial and emotional burdens generated by it all. Then some of them seem to turn to alcoholism trying to take the edge off of it all. Shopaholics seem to be caught in a vicious cycle.
Thank you David for your perfectly presented example of a compulsive buyer you know! Masses of stuff accumulated and never used and the hiding of bills from a spouse.
It is wonderful to have a thrifty wife. I am like June, thrifty and frugal! I do enjoy buying plants for my balcony and some more kitchen tools, but in a small Paris apartment, room for anything is limited! I enjoy good food, good wines, travelling and good friends!
Glad to see you back David!
Cherry, when I was a kid I remember at some of my kinfolks house there was more stuff than they needed . Definitely They were hoarders . I was told the depression days made them this way never throw anything away.
At the store I have customers that buy things just because it’s on Clearance at a reduced price and wonder if they really need this . Or the Lady this morning who came in the store with a spider problem I told her the best spray to buy but she also brought 2 other sprays as well.
I’ve seen the tv show “ hoarders “ and wonder how this happens. I’m glad I don’t have this problem !
Hugs too you
Don’t worry be happy
🎶because every little thing is going too be alright
Thank you Isham for sharing your own personal examples seen above. I can’t imagine why the lady even needed any spray for spiders, much less three! You have a world of experience in seeing the spending habits of frequent buyers for dubious reasons. It must hard to advise some clients who insist that they really “need” things that offer little use. Hugs