A Christmas Message To Those In Pain

This is a Christmas message  to those of us in pain  this  holiday season.  It is often the most painful time of the year for us who are already depressed, in grief,  in a painful circumstances of loss or rejection, and feeling alone.

I do not have to know your name to want to comfort you, because I know that you are out there.  I care about you, because I know or have known your pain.

I lost my son February, 2017 and all holidays since are tinged with pain, especially Christmas.

Though we may have different reasons  around our pain, in that our pain and suffering may be unique to each of us, it still tears our hearts into shambles.

I already know you are hurting with the approaching Christmas season and feeling alone with your suffering.  None of us wants to fully burden our family nor friends with our hurts in a time of festivity.

So, we are left alone with our pain, trying very hard to mask it for the sake of others.  At least with me, you don’t have to pretend.  I understand.

I do not have to know you to care about you.  We all have our gifts and one of mine is being able to have the  deepest of empathy for those of you who are suffering, even when I too am in the deepest of grief.

You come from many countries and speak many languages that I couldn’t possibly understand, but it is not your spoken words that touch me, but your heart and our common grief and pain.

I am a very sensitive empathic soul, which helps make me a good therapist, but in my own life this attribute can be taken advantage of and sometimes has been a source of my own pain.

Because this holiday season is so difficult for those of you who have to go through the motions and feel like you have to hide your pain, I wanted to reach out to you.

I know I can’t take away your suffering, but I at least wanted you to know that I care,  and offer some of my own words of hard earned wisdom, that I have gained from my own trials and tribulations and current grief and those of my courageous and beautiful patients.

The most important thing for you to know is that your pain will not always hurt as bad as it feels right now. I know you are having a hard time just believing this, because I have too in the past have wondered about this.

Having witnessed  my many patients  struggle through the worse of painful experiences in their lives, time seems to soften that which tears into us like a sharp knife.

Running away from your pain is impossible, although sometimes alcohol or drugs can dull the acute sensation, but only for a brief time.

Pain that generally stems from a loss, especially that of a death of a  loved one is the most acutely felt.  Grief is not something that melts away with time.

It can soften somewhat with time, but grieving for your beloved one is something you must learn to live with.

This pain is not the same as clinical depression, which is treated with therapy and medication, though both can sometimes overlap.

Time is really your best friend, but having patience is of little help when you are writhing with pain. Pain, however horrible it is,  is that which pushes you to the brink, and that very pain is precisely what can open doors to your heart.

When we hurt and feel that there is nowhere to turn, we cry out into the darkness for help. It is in those very moments of total helplessness and vulnerability, that our boundaries are down.

Like children pleading to be freed from our misery and pain,  we call out to in the vast cosmos and to a God we might never have sought otherwise.

Allow your pain to propel you towards this source of  Divine Love that you can not comprehend now, but is nevertheless there waiting in the wings of your life to be invited in.

 God never invades without you asking for Him to come and help you, because you were created with free will to do as you please.

I have seen many times individuals who have been spiritually lost, who were caught up in too much in the physical aspect of life by overworking, over focused on accumulating and consuming and treating themselves and others as objects.

Unfortunately for some, it took a serious illness, death of a loved one, debilitating addiction, an accident or loss of a relationship to knock them out of their illusion.

Only then were they able to see that in the past,  life had no other meaning for them, other than the pursuit of money and success and this life was as empty as they had become.

A lot of their stories of hearing or feeling the divine presence of God in their darkest moments sound miraculous.  Miracles of Divine intervention occur much more than you think, and many of them can not initially believe that this sacred presence happened just for them.

What is real and true in the spiritual realm, may not be understood at all in the physical.  As Jesus said, there are few that have the ears to hear and the eyes to see beyond that which they can’t fully comprehend.

Faith can never be understood with the limited comprehension of the human mind,  where logic and reason dominate and limits human perception beyond the physical.     How arrogant we are to think that our perception of reality,  can define the ultimate truths and is sufficient to describe and understand life.

You may feel alone in the physical, but when you reach out and connect with Divine Love, then you will never be left alone smothered in your pain.

The moment you ask for intervention, even though you can not comprehend how and why,  you will be delivered from this suffering,  and your healing begins.

Each of you were divinely created with gifts and purpose,  therefore your healing is important to God, so that you can completely fulfill your unique purpose on planet earth.

Sometimes, God sends others into your life as teachers to help facilitate that healing.  This well or source of healing can be tapped within you along with the guidance of God.

When you are open to divine intervention, what you might see as mere coincidences are actually the works of the Divine One.

Miracles are the works of God behind the scenes that can happen instantaneously.

You too can help the healing process by connecting yourself to this Divine source at any time through certain actions and ritual healing gestures.

To help soothe the acute pain in your heart, I find the following meditative gesture easy and comforting.

When you are laying on your bed put all of your fingertips and thumbs on both hands together, that resembles a heart-shaped steeple.  Place your joined fingertip steeple on your chest, with your thumbs resting on your sternum and for women tucked under their breasts, allowing your elbows to rest on your bed.

Visualize a soft pink energized colour circulating between your hands, that I sometimes also circulate around my whole body.  After about three minutes, you will feel your fingertips begin to pulsate or throb where they are joined and become warm.

Continue your pink energy visualization, while gently focusing on your breath inhaling and exhaling.  After a few more minutes, or when you are ready, fold your hands on top of one another over your heart.  You will start to feel the soothing deep heat penetrating into your heart.

Christmas and Hanukkah both celebrate miracles through lights.   I find it helpful   to light candles each night for your own healing, by saying as you light your candle: I light this candle for (your name) in healing and love.

Life is always changing as much as the flow and current of a river. There will be a day when this pain subsides to a sad memory.  You too are changing in many ways though your own perception of yourself can be limited.

As the canvas of your life is painted with one stroke at a time, you are unable to see the finished portrait.  Only the Divine painter, who carefully places each stroke upon your life knows how the end creation will look.

Hope is eternal and springs from the cosmic well of God who needs you as part of His creation as much as the twinkling stars of the universe.

I pray for you and your healing and send my healing energy your way.  My warmest hugs and love are for you this Christmas season. 

P.S. This is a repost as each year brings those of you who find yourself in need of comfort.  Myself included.