Growing Up; What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Growing up? Do we ever achieve it in our lifetime?

We often feel pressed to ask young children what they want to be when they grow up.  I find children much more gifted in being able to answer than most adults.

For children, the question rarely poses much contemplation.  Most of them will only give it a brief thought, then gush out a response with such determination and spirit, that they put the rest of us to shame.

Children also have a one up on us, because they are already quite conscious that they have not gotten wherever they understand being grown up to be.

The majority of adults have a tendency to think they are a “finished” product.  Sealed, wrapped and delivered. Ready for living this grown up existence.

Unfortunately, a lot of them, if you could peak beyond their stiff opaque personas of radiant confidence are not content with what they see in their mirror.

Many see themselves as having some sort of defects or even being a total lemon of a human being as if they fell off the assembly line at the factory of well put together humans and ended up in the “seconds” barrel.

Many will go to great strides to hide their “imperfections” with the exact opposite displays of personality as a way to compensate for their character defaults.

Again young children don’t do that.  They are more real and upfront with everybody.  They still have that built-in the conviction that they are OK.

That acceptance extends towards others as very young children do not have prejudice and hatred towards other children different in race, skin colour or religion.

That Okness lasts until some parent in complete control and power over them “helps” them reinterpret themselves.  If that parent is abusive, narcissistic or neglectful they can destroy that innocent self-acceptance.

Before long the mirror they hold reflective of themselves starts showing cracks that seem to expand and grow larger.

Being convinced that they are already a “done deal” full of cracks, they spent more time in fabricating their masks, rather than accept they are a work in progress.

Carl Jung emphasizes individuation as a developmental process worthy of striving towards.

Individuation is very different from individualism!   Please note!

Individualism revolves around a me first and self-centered mentality that reeks of selfishness, greed, entitlement, and narcissism.

Individuation is an ongoing process of self-realization and striving to become a full expression of your own unique self in relation to the whole of society. 

But who is this “you” in the mirror?  How well do you know this “you”?  How do you see this “you”?

A more pertinent and important question is how much have you learned to accept this “you”; the good parts and defaults( shadow)?

Many of you will say to me, I am not where I want to be, and that is quite ok, in so much as you can at least accept your current position on the river of life.

You see, you are actually a spiritual work in progress. For those of you who embarked on a personal spiritual journey, no explanation is needed about what I mean, because you have probably already defined what your spirituality means to you.

To those of you who find any sort of spirituality hogwash, then the concept is irrelevant.

If you find that man has all the power and wisdom needed and is the true omnipresent lord of his land, then perhaps you can look at your humanity as being all that you want it to be or not.

For those of us, who have developed a belief in the mysterious interconnectedness of all of us in the cosmos woven by divine Love, that I refer to as God, then I ask you to see the unique responsibility you have in the care and nurturing of your soul.

I love the concept of Maitre Eckhart, that in each of us, we hold a spark of the Godhead.

In walking around such a big city as Paris, with all sorts of nationalities and cultures, some seemingly quite different,  I like to “see” beyond their outer presence.

I have a little spiritual exercise that I like to do whenever I want to “feel” that connectedness in a more tangible way.

I enjoy doing it on the bus, the subway, or walking along the sidewalks, or wherever I am in the presence of many.

I can bless them with good wishes and send love and go on my way, believing that their souls have those unconscious receptors to receive benevolent energy sent their way.

Sparks of the Godhead often attract those that mirror the intensity of their own spark, or those who may be in need of your warmth and outreach.

Actually, we are all in this earth boat together, however different we perceive ourselves to be.

Growing up takes a lifetime and even then, as it is an ongoing process of being a spiritual being in human skin that enables us to breathe and live on planet earth.

Since we are put here without a map and expected to live our lives not knowing what the future holds, I prefer to believe in a greater whole than my own existence.

The universe is ever expanding and we, like a miniature reflection of the cosmos, are likewise ever growing and expanding unless we choose to close the shades with darkness.

After all, we have free will to seek that which is good and nourishing to ourselves and others or that which is evil and brings destruction around us.

The sociopath doesn’t directly kill himself, his corruption and selfishness that wounds, destroys and blemishes all that he touches eventually acts like a boomerang that returns to strike the instigator of evil intent.

That which we send out always returns to us.  That which we seed always grows into that which we become.

The fruit that falls off our individual human trees is either good and sweet or bitter and even poisonous.

The universe or God sends sun and rain upon us all, it is the blueprint of your soul and our free will that creates the rest of our individuality of being.

Those whose narcissism is so entrenched that they see themselves as already perfectly evolved, could not care less about the possibility of growing more empathetic, kind and caring about their world and their fellow humans.

Their egos are totally convinced of their elevated status well above all of us lesser folks still struggling.

Humility is incomprehensible to them.  They are the relentless winners, who can’t be wrong, nor not knowing.

You will never find themselves questioning their motives.  You certainly will never find themselves asking what they want to be when they grow up.

Being comfortable in your skin is not aligned with narcissism.  Narcissism is actually a defensive compensation or a maladaptive negative coverup of chronic nagging self doubts.

Acceptance of where you are on your human trajectory of living this life means you can look in your mirror with as much compassion for your own ongoing evolution as you can for your fellow human beings walking the path with you.

Cherish yourself as you cherish those who are still roughing it in the white waters of navigating life’s river full of sharp turns and rocks.

Have compassion and empathy for those thrown on the banks bleeding from life’s wounds.  Offer help when you can and send love and prayers to the rest.

You see, growing up is something we never totally accomplish in our lifetime. It is always an ongoing process.

Offering forgiveness, love, kindness, empathy, and compassion for others and ourselves draws us towards the Light, that becomes ever more reflective within ourselves.

We are here on planet earth, not to grow up but, to polish our souls for greater journeys beyond our knowing.