The Three Aspects of Our Psyche

 I published this post at the beginning of my blog, over four years ago, and it is another example of how art evokes emotions and feelings from me.

I ended up going back to Louvre, which I prefer to do in bits and pieces at my leisure.  That way I can absorb and reflect on whatever I have seen, rather than end up with beauty overload.

The statue of the three lovely ladies, called Les Trois Graces  as seen in this post, got me thinking how much this is analogous to our human psyche.

The two women facing us are representative of two facets of ourselves that most of us are aware of in our consciousness, the Persona and the True self. The part of the statue that is turned away  is representative of our third facet that is hidden, mostly unconscious, that Carl Jung called our Shadow.

These three parts of our psyche are formed fairly early in  childhood.  The persona is not fixed in stone and therefore can be considered more flexible of the three.

It can be altered and changed  in various degrees throughout our lifespan.  Our true self  is much less flexible and yet as we grow and expand our psyches can be made more open and revealed to the outside.

The shadow remains the most hidden and therefore the hardest to penetrate, or change.

The persona can best be explained as the part of our psyche or personality that is presented socially to others.  It is basically what composes the glossy photograph that we allow others to see.

It can be said to be glossy because it is the idealised part of ourself.  Our persona is always polished up so to speak.

This is not so say that it is false in nature by any means except in certain personality disorders.  The persona should ideologically be a reflection of our true self.

Let us just say that  for the majority of us, the persona is composed of parts of the true self.  There is usually some dissonance however.

This loss of transparency with the true self has multiple causes and is moulded in our childhood by societal and familial expectations.

In some families where you have parents who are not very healthy, the children can develop extreme dissonance  between their persona and true self.  This is often seen in the narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder,  and the antisocial/sociopathic personality disorder.

In these types of persons, their persona is false from their true self!   What you think you see in them is a smoke screen to the way they really are.

With narcissists, their persona is a confabulation, that they need to have and use to obtain validation, and sociopathic individuals can come across very charming and engaging initially.

Narcissistic parents can often mould the sensitive child to have and project a persona that best represents the parents, not the true nature of the child.

In fact in some extreme cases I have found that the true self of these grown up sensitive children is far from their awareness, that it is unknown, and therefore not owned.

They adopt and value their parents persona. This was done unconsciously as a way of coping with and maintaining approval from their parents.

The true self is who we really are when no one is looking.  It is our core self and gives each of us a uniqueness and is the foundation of our individuality.

It is where our core values, passions, strengths, limitations, and tendencies lie.  Theoretically in individualised persons, it is a composite of all three parts of us, including the shadow, though the shadow is usually downplayed.

In people who have narcissistic, borderline or antisocial personality disorder, the true self is hidden, or very camouflaged, especially initially in relationships.    Their modus operandi is a reflection of their persona, not their true selves.

The true self of the narcissist, the borderline and sociopathic does not stay  hidden for long and usually appears after these people have gained some trust from the very people they have attracted into their world with their false personas.

That is why  you will often find the narcissist, borderline and sociopathic as extremely likable, and confident with a lot of charisma. You might be easily convinced and won over by their charismatic  presentation of themselves.

When their true self finally comes out, a lot of people are shocked with disbelief that this could be the same person that they “thought” they knew.   There is always a strong sense of betrayal experienced at the hands of these persons.

Victims of these people often feel  guilt and self recrimination for having been “had”.

The shadow is the part of our psyche that is the most hidden part of ourself.  The vast contents of our shadow might even be beyond our consciousness in some people.

I often think of our shadow as the component of our personality we feel bad or embarrassed about.  It is our darker side so to speak.  We all have shadows, however saintly we are within our core or true self.  Accessing our shadow is usually met with a lot of resistance.

It can be difficult to recognise or cough up acceptance that we have primitive or negative aspects to ourselves.  Usually this is a part of seeking self-knowledge and acceptance, which comprises the core of psychotherapy.

It is important to strive to know one’s shadow and not deny the uncomfortable aspects that we have.  I find the majority of negativity comprising the shadow stems from feelings of inferiority.

These feelings of inferiority are outgrowths of fear within ourselves vis-a-vis others.  In the process of self discovery one can uncover those fears, talk about them with a trusted other and hopefully release or minimise them.

IF these negative aspects or fears remain unconscious or denied, they will invariably come out as projections.  Projections can be said to be like photographic slides of our denied feelings that we literally project onto others.

We are convinced that it is the other person who has the negative feeling, not us.  This is why acknowledgment of the our shadow is important.

It is also acknowledging our humanness and letting go of our idealised self, so as to be more authentic.   In Jungian terms, one must dance with our shadow.

In emotionally healthy adults, the true self should be fully integrated into the persona.  In other words, the way we really are should be what we present socially to others around us.

You can often tell a lot about another’s true self, by the fruits of their relationships with others. How they genuinely and consistently treat others with respect, kindness, empathy and compassion says a lot about them in a positive way.

There really should not any dissonance or difference.  Our personality becomes transparent.  There are no hidden agendas, no masking involved, no camouflage needed, nor wanted.

Our shadow is accepted and whatever negativity we have is worked upon and released as  best we can.  We no longer have illusion about who we are and we are Ok with that.  We are what we are and the package is for display without undue apology

As we grow into honoring our true self and seeing our own uniqueness, we are on the road towards individualization.

Jung felt individualization was a developmental goal for all of us to achieve in our lifetime.  Basically I see it is a celebration of who we are!