Suffering Seen By A Sensitive Soul and Empath

Perhaps you could easily think, without reading my other posts, that my life revolves around escapades here and there without a care in the world.  I do seek out joy because I feel it is my responsibility to create joy and goodness for myself and others, but I am never separated in totality  from the harsh world I live in either.

There are times when even the supreme beauty of Paris can’t override the reality of planet earth, and I feel like I am drowning in the world’s sorrow.  It is not because I don’t have any of my own, I do, but maybe because I am too sensitive and porous of a soul, to not be profoundly touched by all the suffering going on as I write.

I could have perhaps more easily written about this past weekend and Nuit Blanche, which offered some wonderful sights to see, but somehow that will have to wait till next week.  I have to be true to my own calling as what and when to write.

Human sorrow and suffering have been predominate throughout the ages, and I wonder if  that is the just the way the world is.  In other words, we come to suffer, some more than others in a world full of injustices to polish our souls in hopes of developing more compassion and love.

Buddhists see that suffering comes from attachment, and through it we can become more aware and compassionate, breaking through the cycle of life and death.  Christians as well might interpret suffering as carrying the weight of the cross of Jesus, and by doing so ,that suffering softens our own hearts to become more compassionate.     Some Catholics consider our time on earth as purgatory and from my own small window of living, I can certainly see why.

If being born onto planet earth is to be admitted to the very elite school of suffering in order to polish our souls, them some get a real rough go at it.  You wonder if our soul knows or at least has any inking of what we are getting ourselves into, as we reluctantly agree to come here.

I often catch babies eyes and I like to send each of them a telepathic message of welcome with love.  Usually I get an immediate response with a gleeful smile along with intense steady eye contact, as if to thank me for recognising that they are intelligent and spiritual beings, just trapped in an infant body that can’t communicate with vocabulary not yet learned, but with an intelligence of the heart brought from the “other” side.

I remember well one saturday night long ago when I would sometimes work part time,  as to keep my medical/nursing skills intact, since being a therapist can be far removed from the on hands medical interventions any clinician should know how to do.

Anyway, I had a feeling that one of the patients was on his way out, not only from his declining vitals signs, but the eminent feelings I had.  Sure enough, he did die that night. It was part of my duties to oversee that his remains were properly prepared along with filling out documents, so he could be taken to the morgue.

Being that we were short-staffed with aides that night, I volunteered to take him myself, as I had never before make the trip down to the morgue.   In the elevator, I remember the peacefulness that surrounded me with this departed soul.

Before coming back up to the medical unit, that was by the way nicknamed “the staircase to heaven” because it was full of patients who were often in the latter stages of their illness, I stopped off to see the newborn babies.

There was a redneck looking dad admiring his new progeny in the window, already talking to him in the way only rednecks can, promising all sorts of things I wouldn’t want any child exposed to. I can’t tell you how sorry I felt for that tiny innocent little one, knowing that he didn’t hit the lucky button in being placed with that kind of father.

Perhaps his soul had chosen that which awaited him, as I suspect we probably know, but nevertheless,  I saw his agitated cries and screams in being admitted to this world, some have called the “valley of tears.”

I felt my own tears  started to fall, not only for him, but for us all.  How ironical, that I had witnessed the peacefulness  of the dying and  the anguish of being born in a matter of an hour!

My daughter said that in Benin, where she was a Peace Corp volunteer, that being born, had little to none fan fare.  On the contrary, dying was celebrated big time with three days of dancing and singing to blaring music that kept the whole village awake in a frenzy of activity.

The Beninoise called it being free of all the earthly sufferings and so I can see their logic about celebrating death.  Right now as I write, there our hundreds of Ebola victims lying on cold floors or under the shade of mango trees wet with their own urine, feces and vomit, awaiting the call of death.

Who cannot be touched with their pain and suffering, in seeing the photos or reading about the plights of whole families being wiped out or leaving children orphans in countries where living can only be done in  harsh conditions at best.

All of this is enough to increase my pain and empathy for them all, knowing that we are all interconnected to our brothers and sisters in need of comfort and healing.  I feel somewhat guilty that I can have a peaceful haven away from their day-to-day threat of a virus nobody can see lurking around for its next victim.

I also feel guilt that I don’t have the courage that it takes to go help them out on my own, from my own selfish fears.  Mea culpa, I will never be a saint, like the hundreds of other health care workers, who are literally treading a thin shield of protection insides their hazmat suits.

The Ebola virus is a very strategic invader that quickly replicates its RNA with great speed, so as to kill so many so quickly.  I suspect that we don’t know all there is to know about it, nor its mutation possibilities, much in the same way the folks in the middle ages were challenged when confronted with the plague.

I ironically see a correlation to the Ebola virus and the IS terrorists. Neither have any mercy, both strike without warning, and both are deadly.  Ebola is one of the most virulent propagating viruses known and so is the evil ideology behind the IS that continues to infect, and brainwash the theological naive of Islam, who in term kill, maim and infect others.

Terrorists consumed with such evil religious ideology will eventually be betrayed by their own evil, simply because evil breeds evil that will boomerang back upon those perpetuating this horror.  They will be cannibalized by their own evil deeds.

The world injustices at the moment will be replaced by others maybe worse, maybe not, but it seems a pattern on planet earth.   Theologians throughout history have delved into the why’s of human suffering, in trying to interpret The Book Of Job.   None of them have gotten beyond the impossibility of really understanding the “why” as human understanding is limited at best.

At least for me, the most theologically provocative with psychological interpretation and correlates on Job, is the marvellous treatise by Dr. Carl Jung,  in his  Answer To Job, written when he was 76 years old.

He was the son of Protestant paster, who in addition to being a foremost psychological /psychiatric theorist, was also a profoundly spiritually man with mystical overtones.    He seemingly had a good grasp of biblical scriptures, protestant and Catholic doctrines, and weaves his thoughts from Genesis to Job and back to the Book of Revelations with astounding intellect.

The continuous evil acts and injustices  perpetuated by some human beings is a microcosmic reflection of the duality that was imparted to human flesh, who do indeed have free will to choose evil over good. It also can be seen as a barometer of the global state of mind.

There is no justification for the injustices and cruelty inflicted upon good and innocent human beings.   If there was even a hint of a reason, it might be another wake up call to for us to reexamine our own priorities and  deeply care about alleviate suffering, when we can, at least on a one to one basis.

It seems too, that somethings don’t change until bad things happen that triggers enough horrific response to the act.  Laws against antisemitic acts in Europe came about because of the Holocaust for example.

Since planet earth is getting “smaller” because of modern travel and instantaneous awareness of what is going on in every patch of earth; then evil, horror, suffering, injustices are immediately known.  Likewise, as you have already seen, evil viruses and terrorists can only be a step away from invading your own country and community.

Though the vast majority of us are not going to be called to fight on the  ground and in the skies against the IS, nor have the skills or courage to transplant ourselves to care for Ebola victims, we can work in our own communities and families to stifle out whatever injustices and sufferings  seen.

Basically, you and I, who choose to prioritize goodness and to exalt the laws of love and compassion, are being called  at least to be spiritual warriors to seed and propagate love, peace,  kindness, tolerance, empathy, compassion and forgiveness within our own reaches of humanity.