Robin Williams; Three Main Factors That Contributed To His Death

Robin Williams, who all made us laugh till we cried, has now unleashed a world of tears from those who loved him and his extraordinary ability that enabled us to escape our everyday life with laughter. How ironic that the joy and laughter he was so capable of giving to the world, he wasn’t in the end,  able to experience himself.

Many people would have a hard time believing that Robin Williams could be depressed enough that he wanted to kill himself.  Not widely known until his death, was the fact that he suffered from the deadly duo of Bipolar disorder and substance abuse.  The third contributing factor revolved around the very talent and image that brought him fame and admiration, yet nevertheless played a part in his demise.

Bipolar disorder, either type I or II is a disorder of cycling moods of mania or hypomania and very severe depressions.  For those interested, I wrote a whole post detailing the symptoms, variations, and treatment in August of 2012;   https://www.cherrychapman.com/2012/08/20/bipolar-disorder/

Bipolar depression, the great rapist, took him away with no mercy as it does many who suffer from the same, sometimes in silence. I call depression the great rapist because it literally destroys all joy and meaning of life to the extent that the will to continue living can be totally obliterated.

Depression mangles and twists your judgment and rationale and traps you in total darkness , where the light of hope is easily extinguished.  Left untreated and unmonitored the depressed person starts to be convinced that the world would better off without them.

It makes death look much more desirable that the pain of living. Depressed patients can never see an end to their suffering, and unless stringent intervention of protection and help takes place, the risk of suicide is high.

He, like up to 56% of Bipolar patients had a dual diagnosis of substance abuse. Most bipolar patients, who are not on medication, or poorly controlled, rather enjoy the hypomanic phases, but it is the severe suffering of the depressive periods that leads some to self medicate with drugs and alcohol.  Unfortunately Robin Williams had polysubstance abuse;  cocaine, ecstasy, and alcohol.

Bipolar disorder can be deadly enough, but when the patient is using drugs, it makes everything worse.  The mood variations can be intensified, resulting in deeper depressive episodes and the cycling can become more rapid.

Let me explain why.  First of all the neurons(nerve cells) in bipolar patients are already given to being unstable with varying fluctuations of neurotransmitters, which causes the variations of mood.

Cocaine is one of the most powerful stimulators of neurotransmitters, literally flooding the brain with loads of them, especially dopamine which produces euphoria for a brief time.

The dopamine levels will then fall, resulting in a period or severe irritability and depression; in some ways mimicking the bipolar disease process neurophysiologically.

In chronic abusers of cocaine, speed and ecstasy, these chemically induced intense mood variations will harm the neurons, by reducing receptors on the cell.  When this happens, the abusers will need higher levels of the drugs to induce euphoria, and the vicious cycle ends up further damaging the nerve cells, making depressive periods much more severe with increased cycling.

The third contributing factor to his suicide, was his fame and world-wide image of him being the funny guy, always ready to break out joking.  This burden became the last frontier that Robin Williams was never able to escape.

I have often heard that comedians can be very lonely and agonisingly sad within.  I could easily conjecture that they use their gift of comedy as a compensation and defense against  their own lack of joy. Perhaps they hope their funny persona that the world identifies with them, will indeed become their true self.

But what happens when that persona starts to break? When the walls become thin and begin to crumble?  When the effort to perform is no longer there? Where does the wittiest man on earth go to hide his pain?

I can only imagine the pressure he must have felt to always be “funny”.  We know he was a magnificent actor, but still when you are clinically depressed, your energy to do anything literally ceases, and yet he still had to be the comedian, if caught off-guard in public.

The show must go, probably was so instilled in his psyche, that he couldn’t let his fans down when was not in shape to perform.   I am sure it took every molecule of sheer psychic strength to walk on stage and act ,when all he wanted to do was cry, but couldn’t.

I imagine he had frozen tears too, based on his relationship history, but his had to be buried deeper than most, as I doubt he would never had felt comfortable revealing his immense despair.   Who would want to believe that Robin Williams was often in the darkness of deep depression?

I wonder if he sometimes thought that if the world knew the way he truly felt when depressed, they would be in total disbelief.    Even worse,  knowledge of his mental illness and addictions might have been a concern of tarnishing his image.

Fame must lonely at the top, when the adoring world only holds a certain impression of what they perceive you to be.  He apparently did casually mention his depression and addiction at times,  but never really elaborated.

In an interview on NPR, in 2006 he admitted he suffered from periods of highs and sadness but denied that he had been diagnosed with clinical depression, and in general  minimised the gravity of it all by his humour.  He did say jokingly that he had taken antidepressants and medicine he called his “speed bumps”, which certainly would be in reference to mood stabilizers, used in treating Bipolar disorder.

He was such a brilliantly talented actor who knew his comic routines so well he could easily mask his pain if needed and apparently in his world he felt compelled to do so.

Suffering in silence, he unwittingly deprived himself of certainly having the support and empathy from millions who loved him.  This fact alone kept him isolated with his pain, that if shared, would have released some of the intensity and the constant pressure to hide.

We would have understood, and had he openly shared with the world, not only could he have perhaps saved others, but himself as well.

Addendum:  A recent post I wrote on suicide as well.  https://www.cherrychapman.com/2014/03/10/suicide-is-never-the-answer/