Sexting is The New Twinkie Sex

Sexting is (for those who might have been in a coma ) sending sexually charged messages and photos from one virtual screen to another, on a cell phone.  Twinkie sex is my own word for cheap thrills sex, be it sexting, casual sex or cybersex.

I like using the word “twinkie” because Twinkies are junk food, and are used as a sugar fix for sweet tooth cravings. They are fluffy little nothings that provide only empty calories of fat and sugar. Sexting, cybersex and casual sex are similar, as each can provide a quick fix to sexual arousal, but all are meaninglessly devoid of any real emotional intimacy.

All involve exchanges with another human being, and all can be addictive. Sexting and cybersex are the same, except sent on different devices.  All involve “virtual” sexual expression, that may or may not lead to physical orgasm. The major exception of course is that casual sex involves partners together in the flesh.

Thanks in large part to the mayoral candidate of NYC, sexting has been once again brought to the forefront of our attention. Seems like sexting is the new drug of choice so to speak for a lot of people and is changing how we might view sexual expression.

The addictivenes of sexting is interesting to look at in my view. An addiction is repeatedly using any substance or engaging in any activity that has harmful or predictable negative consequences for that individual. Could be drugs,exercise, food, sex, alcohol, cigarettes, gambling,internet, porn, or now sexting.

When someone continues to engage in any drugs or activity that has brought him/her negative consequences, we say they have an addiction. All addictions provide of course the numbing out or avoidance of feelings.

Sexting, or cybersex, because it involves erotica is a powerful simulator of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Because it also entails surprise and visual novelty, like internet porn, it can cause similar brain neuronal changes, increasing its addictiveness; which is worthy of another post and not the scope of this article.

Sexting might seem at first glance to involve little risk taking. Sexting studies however, and there are only a handful, indicate that teens, at least, who sext are more inclined to follow through with sexual activity than those who don’t.

If this is the case, then sexting is a powerful arousal tool or prelude to casual sex. Sexting has some unique risks involved, that in the flesh casual sex does not generally have, unless through videotaping!

Sending sexually implicit messages and especially photos over the internet and cell phones can be shared with others. Unfortunately it can fall into some hands and be circulated as  pornography.

Emails and sext messages are now regarded by the courts as “viable proof”. They can in revengful hands also be used to black mail or as a tool of coercion.

So as you can see sexting is not so innocent and without some really significant risks. Just because it is not in the flesh sex, it can also have severe emotional implications too.

Sexting can certainly be seen as emotional cheating by spouses with good cause, because it is a breach of trust. Whether or not it involves in the flesh sex, any sexual acting out via phone or screen goes beyond marital boundaries.

I have often heard men refer to casual sex as “sport” sex. So, sexting is the new sexual sport on the scene, without the physical exertion of real sex!

People who repeatedly engage in casual sex are using sex as an emotional avoidant or drug.  They aren’t running around being sexual because they just love sex, but because it provides a numbing out for them.

Sexual addiction is certainly more physically risky with STD’s(sexually transmitted diseases), pregnancy, and personal safety issues. It too can be misinterpreted as demonstrating an emotional interest, especially by vulnerable persons who are hoping to capture one’s heart for a real relationship.

People who love to engage in either causal sex or sexting have some similar personality traits. Both have a tendency to have attachment avoidance in my view, with underlining narcissistic tendacies.

Neither casual sex, nor sexting “sex” provide anything of substance emotionally.  In both instances, there is never any exchange of feelings for each other, other than sexual desires and fantasies. All it can offer is arousal and possible orgasmic relief.

Sexting is effortless though. No need to bath, brush your teeth, shave, put on sexy underwear and so forth. Using the arousal one can get to masturbate is about all it is worth. As worthless as a Twinkie.

Sex should never be treated as fast “food” or as a way of “getting off”, but sadly this remains a growing reality that has exploded due to virtual technology. There are devices already on the market that simulate kissing and genital sex via the internet between two people or alone .

Sexual robots are here too, male and female versions, which may in some instances offer therapeutic or even altruistic
benefits. At least they are not taking advantage of another human being by sexual exploitation, which is the case in casual sex and sexting.

Twinkie sex really comes down to selfish gratification devoid of any investment in another’s wellbeing or interest. Utterly self focused, without any commitments, it is only cheap self serving cafeteria sex at best.