In Celebration of Friends

For me good friends are jewels in our life.  They are the diamonds, emeralds and rubies that we carry in our heart.  They enrich our lives in so many ways, from the obvious warmth and friendship they offer.

We all have our dear friends.  Mine are from Louisiana, California and here in Paris.  I hope you will send this post to the people you cherish most in your world.

This week I have had the joy and blessings to be with some old friends back home, who came to Paris to visit.  It is hard to believe that a few years have passed since I last saw them, but that is how is with true friends from the past.   You just take off with the same comfort like slipping on old shoes.

My life would be barren without friends who have seen me though the good times and the bad.  I wish all my old friends could be here.  They have listened to my cries, seen my tears, and held my hand in time of need.

They have urged me on to obtain my wishes and goals like cheerleaders on the side that we can all use.  They can believe in you when you may have your doubts about your capacity to follow through.

With friends that go back to high school and earlier, they probably know us best because they knew us as children.   There is a constanstancy not found in any other part of our lives, except with family.

Whereas we are born into our families, it is our friends that we choose, and vice versa.   Therefore they become a family of our chosen ones with a mutuality that is not always seen with relatives.

Acceptance and love are the keys words here that make our friends so special to us.  They provide an unconditional love, again not always found in those related by blood..  They are not out to change us, but accept the very way we are.

Another thing I love about good friends is that they listen and give me honest feedback that I would not have privy otherwise.  I can always count on them to be available with care and interest in whatever I am doing from the banal to exciting.

Friends provide another source of grounding in our lives, that gives us all a sense of security.  Life by nature is full of uncertainties and fears, but our good friends are a certainty we can always count on.

Acceptance and availability though is a two-way street.  Our friends must be given a lot of slack to be them, each with their own busy lives and family.  We must cherish their worlds too, and realise they may also have their own plights and agendas to deal with in life.

Not making unrealistic expectations is a key in maintaining our friendships.  Again accepting the rhythm of their lives and not taking offense if they are not often in contact.

Reciprocity is a part of maintaining friendship, but there should not be a laundry list of this and that always have to equal out.  We give and offer what we can and do not take offense if it is not always matched in the same dimension. Again acceptance and understanding is paramount.

Quality is more important that quantity, when it comes to friends.  Acquaintances may be certainly  honored and appreciated too, but it is the dept of the relationship that is the defining need that characterises real friendship.

The same applies to communication with our friends.   Because we honor their own busy lives, we may not hear from them in a regular way.  I may not talk to my dear friends for several weeks, but as soon as I hear their kind voices, I feel at home and it seems like no time has really passed between us.

Real friends develop a sense of trust that you love and care for them whether they check in on you weekly or not.  That feeling of course has to be reciprocal and mutual for it to work.

Honoring is fundamental in any relationship that is valid and will succeed.   Just knowing that my friends exist in my world is a blessing that is irreplaceable.  We may have many flowers of cherished people in our garden, but our true friends have the choicest spot.