Anais Nin & Narcissism and Deception

Anais Nin is known as one of the earliest writers of female erotica, and had an almost cult worship by feminists of the 70’s. Frankly,  I had not thought to write about her until I was looking at the history of  one of her lovers Henry Miller, who lived several blocks from where I live now in the 14 arrondissement. As I researched her biography I initially thought she would be a good case example of the consequences of sexual abuse.

The more I read, the more sick this person became to the degree that I no longer felt the deep empathy that I do for victims of sexual abuse.  Her pathology went way beyond into severe narcissism and sociopathy.  In the end I decided her story, however warped and convoluted would serve more and additionally as a portraiture of a personality disorder.

First some pertinent background.  She was born in Neuilly in 1904, a prominent suburb of Paris.  Her mother, daughter of a diplomat  was of cuban Danish descent and her father a Cuban pianist from Havana.  The father was as narcissistic as they come.  He used his wife’s family  money to pursue his musical career in Europe.

He fancied himself as a dandy, and he had multiple affairs before abandoning the family when she was 11.  He was also a pedophile who liked to take photos of his daughter posed nude and as later revealed in her diaries, he sexually abused Anais when she was 9 years old.

The mother, eventually took the family to New York where Anais spent the remaining years of her childhood.  In 1923 she met and married Hugh Parker Guiler.  He was a successful banker who footed the bill for Anais to devote to her literary career.    They moved to Paris in 1930 and it was there that Anais initiated contact with her father, whom she had not seen in over 20 years.  In 1933 Joaquin Nin resexualized his relationship with his own daughter.  Their incestuous relationship was not revealed until the she published her diaries in the mid 60’s.

Anais met Henry Miller and his wife June  in the early 1930’s and promptly seduced Henry, with whom she had a very passionate affair for many years.   She also fell in love with his wife June, and in her diary wrote long diatribes of love and erotica.                                                          June, who was described by Henry as having had previously several lesbian affairs, never consummated the seduction from Anais.  This emotional menage a trois exploded and  June left in December of 1932.  The accounts of this story was made into a movie called Henry and June.

Not satisfied with breaking up one marriage, Anais proceeded on to multiple affaires, mostly with famous literary types probably in hopes they would help further her writing career.  D.H.Laurence, Antonin Artaud, Gonzalo More,  Gore Vidal,  Laurence Durrell were some of her more notable entanglements and lovers.  Her psychoanalysis Otto Rank, in an abominable breach of professional ethics became sexually engaged with her in an affaire.   She ended up having multiple abortions, some late-term as she did with the child she conceived with Miller.

Returning to the states after seducing all the men she could in Paris, she now set her site on Rupert Pole, whom she met in 1947, 16 years her junior and married him in 1955.  Of course the marriage was bigamous because she was still married to poor Hugh Guiler.

She then proceeded to live a double life full of lies and deception.  She and Rupert lived on the West coast in California and she flew often back East under the pretense of writing assignments to be with Hughes.  She was quoted as saying she had two checkbooks in two different names, one for west cost life and other back east and that is was difficult to the take care of so many lies, that she put them on index cards in a box she called “trapeze”.

She published her diaries, which were said to have been heavily edited by Anais in 1966. Her libertine sexual exploits and multiple abortion history lead her to be acclaimed by the feminist movement at that time.    Literary scholars debated the merits of her writing and the difficulty in deciphering what was truth from fiction.

Even after being diagnosed with cancer, she preferred to spend the majority of time with Rupert Pole, than husband Hugh Guiler.  She died in 1977 at the age of 73.

It was only after her death that her first husband Hugh found out the dept of her deception in discovering  her second marriage to Rupert Pole.  Another slap in the face was that she left all her writings entrusted to Pole for future publication.  Therefore Hugh Guiler never was able to have any financial recompensation from his late wife’s estate.

Anais, like every sexual abuse victim was prematurely sexualized, which is extremely confusing to the child when the perpetrator is someone invested with their trust and love.     One of the  consequences amongst others, is  promiscuity due the loss  sexual boundaries.   They are unable  to distinguish the difference between emotional intimacy and sexual expression as for them this is blended in their psyche.

In general they have a tendency to come across more seductive in dress and behavior because that is the only value they are able to see in themselves to offer in any relationship.  This coupled with their loss of boundaries results in them being easily taken advantage sexually.

Where Anais Nin differs from the majority of sexual abuse victims is her underlying severe narcissism with overlapping sociopathic tendencies.   She does not seem to express any remorse for the long-standing deception and bigamous marriage that she kept going on for over 20 years, nor any gratitude towards long-suffering Hugh who was always by her side.

One could say she attempted to recaptured her loss father by internalizing his pathology and narcissism in her destructive and scandalous pursuits with any man in her scope.  Yet, with Hugh Guiler, whom she emotionally abused and neglected during her entire marriage , he ironically became her substitute father.

She used and abused both husbands, creating webs of lies in order to use their support and money to promote her writing career. Her writings and quotes are  demonstrative of  self-absorption ad nauseam with much entitlement to do whatever she wants,  regardless  of consequences or who she might hurt or destroy.

Hugh Guiler could be called the unsung hero in this sordid life of hers.  He was certainly blinded with his unconditional love for her and in return he got nothing of real substance from Anais.  She used him as a siphon to drain off his money to support her various lifestyle and writing pursuits.

With much character he contacted Rupert Pole after her death.   Refusing to hold grudges, he developed a friendship with him and both ended up sharing mutual memories of being her husbands.

She may be acclaimed by some who hail her writings and diaries of erotica as a breakthrough in feminist thought.  For me though, her personality pathology and moral corruption is more exemplary and prominent for what she represented than her art.