Promiscuous Sex, More Risks than Bargained For!

If you think you might be risking only a possible unfriendly STD, think again! True, there is no such thing as safe sex, just “safer”sex, but there are other consequences than just the physical ones.

In 28 years of practice, the psychological melee of promiscuous sexual adventures are most commonly brought in, not surprisingly, by women.  Yes, I have had a few of my male patients talk about this, but males have a different way of processing the situation.  For the vast majority of women, there really is not the connotation of a one night sexual encounter,  as behind the act,most have secret hopes for continuance .

These negative consequences of promiscuous sex can really undermine whatever rebuilding a patient has accomplished and therefore reinforces  old issues from the past. A vicious circle so  to speak.

Initially they come in with these incredible exciting stories and scenes of literally feeling swept up with meeting an exciting man,  with whom they felt instant attraction and chemistry.  Sounds good so far! The reciprocal energy lights up the desires of the moment and before you know this whirlwind encounters barrels down the mountain like a train without breaks.  Glorious and intense sex, becomes like smoke and mirrors masking any real effort of intimate sharing.  Then there are the quick goodbyes and ubiquitous “I’ll call you soon”. A few days pass, the days slowly run into a week or two, and the phone remains silent.  Hopes bashed again, and this psychic train wreck has ended up leaving  more scrapes and scars than before.

The most prominent hurt that I see is the reopening of abandonment issues.  It can rip through all the previous scars to date and only acts as a reinforcer of painful feelings of rejection.  Once again their self-image and self-esteem is battered.  Then there are the feelings of being used, which leads to continued mistrust of men.  Men have reported  feelings of being used just for sex too, believe it or not!  Men have often expressed a sense of distrust too in women who sleep with them on first encounter, but for different reasons.   Their rationale is that if they did it with them, they probably have done the same with other men and this diminishes, in their eyes a woman’s virtuousness.

Premature sexual intimacy takes away the what would have been a normal prelude to wanting to get to know someone better. This loss of sexual tension , which can only  augment desire in gone in a poof! There is no longer any surprises to be had, no more longing of the fantasies, no longer any secrets of that deepest gift of intimacy we can offer,  of the unknown.  You remember the excitement of looking at the present under the tree, touching it and shaking it to guess what is inside? Premature sexual intimacy takes away that wonder and can dampen desire.

Last but certainly not least is the aftermath of premature attachment and trust that occurs with the release of the female hormone of oxytocin during orgasm.  This just leads to intensifying and  prolonging the longing to see him and increases the  despair and hurt when he is never heard from again.                                                                                                                    Then there is also my personal belief that when we are sexual with another person, who may have a lot of emotional baggage, our etheric energies are mixed, irregardless of how many condoms are between us,  and just this can have adverse effect on our mood.  Even for those unhealthy ones who see sex as a sport, and yes they are out there, beware , this  energy mixing is accumulatory and can be passed onto you!.

However enticing and promising this new stranger may be, to give in to these floods of desire prematurely without really getting to know them can often lead us down into a dead-end street , and frankly the aftermath rarely warrants the initial fireworks.